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He has my lips
                 numb

  with promises


                              and my ears

                       ringing
                     prophecy

     so it is
                all I can do


                                     all
                                         I
                                           can
                                               do


       

       to hold fast    

                             to this chaotic

                     car
                        o
                         u
                        s
                         e
                        l



               beat.
                 ing

                               


                       r

                      a

                       i
  
                      n
                    
                       b

                      o

                     w

                      e

                     d


                            tattoos

              into my breast.



                              all
                                  I
                                    can
                                        do


         
             to grasp blindly



              --------------

                                                H
                                                  O W L

                              madly

    and admit

that I have never seen color before

                                             "never have I seen"


               until his lips
                              slipped


                          a
                          whisper


   past my nagging virtue
                                and said,



   "Now this.


                                                            S
                                                            U
                                                            G
                                                            A
                                                            R

                           ...this


                              is love.
©2006-2010 =willowinsanity
:iconwillowinsanity:

Author's Comments

An experiment.

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-07-26

Ear Drops by ~willowinsanity - It's rare that a poet gets away with an experimental arrangement of words and letters. Rarer still that it adds a new depth to an already wonderful poem. (Featured by `GunShyMartyr)

Comments


love 3 3 joy 3 3 wow 3 3 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconleskylor:
great! :thumbsup:

--
climbing up to heaven just to piss on the stars
:iconsweetcapris:
So you go all experimental on us? hehe. Well, I liked the repitition of the cascading "All I can do." mmm, and that ending, A+.

--
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road.
:iconthecoolbeane:
i really, really like this one lady. You have let us feel it with you. As I traveled your words with you, my heart was pounding and my cheeks were flushed and I couldn't take a breath till I read the end!

very nice.

--
2 pockets full
:iconwillowinsanity:
:blush: Thank you.

--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
:iconwillowinsanity:
eh, I'm trying it out.

--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
:iconwillowinsanity:
Thank you!

--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
:iconneohephaestus:
I. Love. It.

And not just for the visual arrangement. I'm flatly jealous of several lines and constructs. For example:

"so it is all I can do ...
to hold fast to this chaotic carousel beat.ing
rainbowed tatoos into my breast"

The shared space of meaning joined by the period is very nicely done. The spacial arrangement is also tightly integrated with your diction and works nicely. This can be hit or miss without paying attention, but you have obviously thought it through.

I knew it was a good idea to keep an eye on you.
:iconfraterm:
Salud! Ohhhhh yeah.

--
Guph, go feed the lizard.
-----------------------------------------
state-of-the-art bionic-cyberechidna

The Tao is like a glob pattern:
used but never used up.
It is like the extern void:
filled with infinite possibilities.
:iconirishhippiepoet:
Wow. This one really got me, the last few lines, the shapes, the patterns you created with your words. You are a master of words, and I can only fave you. ^^

oh..and do this comment. I can do that too!
:iconsweetcapris:
Oh don't sound so "eh" about it. It's good! Just accept it :)

--
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road.

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December 8, 2006
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