He has my lips
numb
with promises
and my ears
ringing
prophecy
so it is
all I can do
all
I
can
do
to hold fast
to this chaotic
car
o
u
s
e
l
beat.
ing
r
a
i
n
b
o
w
e
d
tattoos
into my breast.
all
I
can
do
to grasp blindly
--------------
H
O W L
madly
and admit
that I have never seen color before
"never have I seen"
until his lips
slipped
a
whisper
past my nagging virtue
and said,
"Now this.
S
U
G
A
R
...this
is love.
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Author's Comments
An experiment.
Daily DeviationGiven 2007-07-26Ear Drops by ~willowinsanity - It's rare that a poet gets away with an experimental arrangement of words and letters. Rarer still that it adds a new depth to an already wonderful poem. (Featured by `GunShyMartyr) |
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Comments
--
climbing up to heaven just to piss on the stars
--
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road.
very nice.
--
2 pockets full
--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
--
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
And not just for the visual arrangement. I'm flatly jealous of several lines and constructs. For example:
"so it is all I can do ...
to hold fast to this chaotic carousel beat.ing
rainbowed tatoos into my breast"
The shared space of meaning joined by the period is very nicely done. The spacial arrangement is also tightly integrated with your diction and works nicely. This can be hit or miss without paying attention, but you have obviously thought it through.
I knew it was a good idea to keep an eye on you.
--
Guph, go feed the lizard.
-----------------------------------------
state-of-the-art bionic-cyberechidna
The Tao is like a glob pattern:
used but never used up.
It is like the extern void:
filled with infinite possibilities.
oh..and do this comment. I can do that too!
--
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road.
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